Most Recent Articles...
06/05/06 - Cuts in State Funding for Drug and Alcohol Rehab Leaves Many Without Help
A recent news article reports that Oregon reduced state funding of drug and alcohol treatment programs. According to the article, "The state Legislature, strapped with a tight budget, cut funds for drug and alcohol treatment in 2003. Since then, the percentage of parents needing and getting drug and alcohol treatment in child welfare cases has dropped from 88 percent to 42 percent." Read on to learn how these irresponsible cuts endanger children.
05/22/06 - Lies Batters Tell #2: You'll Lose Custody
In my new series, "Lies Your Abuser Tells You," I have addressed a second common lie: "If you report me, I'll tell the judge you're a bad mother, and you'll lose custody of the kids." Let's take a look at this threat and see how credible it is. And let's examine what you can do to become less vulnerable to your abuser's bluster.
05/08/06 - False Rape Charges: Just for the Publicity?
In the ongoing effort to attack and terrorize women who report sexual assault, it is common for defense lawyers to claim that the survivor is making the charges just to get publicity. This claim is so transparently false that it amazes me that the media still reports it. Let's take a look at the charge in some detail. Then let's see if we can work for an improvement in how our society treats survivors of sexual assault.
04/29/06 - Batters' Lies #1: "I've Got Friends!"
I have begun a new series of articles called, "Lies A Batterer Tells." Victims of domestic abuse tend to believe anything their batterer says, so I will present common lies and threats, along with a critical examination of them. This article addresses the common threat, "I've got a bunch of friends who will do anything I tell them to!"
04/15/06 - Lessons From the Duke University Scandal
One thing we can learn from the scandal at Duke University is the fact that ordinary people can wield great power. Students at NCCU and Duke are taking considerable pains to establish a better, more supportive atmosphere, than the atmosphere that usually surrounds athlete rape cases. They are supporting the survivor, and resisting efforts to destroy her reputation. And they are placing a higher priority on justice than on a team's winning season. Let's hope that they inspire more campuses to do the same.
04/01/06 - Myths About Sexual Assault Trial and Athletes
The Duke Lacrosse team's alleged rape case is making headlines now. The team's defense attorney has been interviewed. A woman, of course. It's become standard practice.
03/19/06 - Top 5 Myths About Domestic Violence
There are many myths and mis-understandings about domestic violence. People who are living with violence or abuse are often confused and mis-informed, and this often prevents them from getting the help they need to lead the life they deserve. So with them in mind, I present the Top Five Myths about Domestic Violence. i
03/11/06 - A Collection of Christian-Based Articles
Although my site is a secular site designed to help anyone work toward emotional healing, I have published a handful of Christian-based articles. I can't help it. Survivors of abuse have been deeply, horribly wounded. The very foundation of their lives has been destroyed, and they ask the most basic questions: "What's it all about?" "Why did this happen?" Sufferers often turn to religious leaders for answers, but the quality of those answers varies widely, from "very good" to "God-awful." So I have added my two-cents' worth.
03/04/06 - HRO for Date Rape?
Date-rape is a shockingly common crime, and survivors of date-rape may experience a great deal of difficulty in getting justice. In this article, I will review some parts of the problem, and then make a suggestion that may partially satisfy some survivors' thirst for justice.
02/22/06 - Rape is Not Sex
In this article we will be discussing the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, and how some people are using it to blur the distinction between rape and sex. So be warned: this is a Triggering Topic, and will include both Old Testament and New Testament references from the Bible.
02/18/06 - In Defense of Government Funding
I often advocate more state and federal funding for agencies that try to stop domestic violence and child abuse. Recently, I received an email chiding me for this, claiming, “Individuals helping the poor is fine, but the Bible doesn’t want government involvement in it.” I decided to check it out and see if it was true. It isn't. Be warned: this is a religion-based article, with lots of Old Testament and New Testament Bible passages quoted.
02/09/06 - Lots of Information About Restraining Orders
My articles on Restraining Orders are consistently among the most-read articles on the site. I always consider this to be good news. It means that people are actively investigating their options as they plan to leave a violent relationship. To help out, I have assembled seven articles that I have written on the subject. They explore Restraining Orders and related concerns.
02/04/06 - Better Therapy for Batterers?
It is often said that nobody knows what causes someone to be a batterer, so nobody knows how to fix it. Most efforts at counseling batterers have been remarkably ineffective. But some suggestions from Purdue University experts are worth looking into.
01/30/06 - Nixzmary Brown: Questions and Answers
The New York Daily News reports that New York City Mayor Bloomberg has announced some sweeping reforms of the ACS system that failed Nixzmary Brown. Now that we know more, let's see how many answers we have received to the many questions we posed when the tragedy struck.
01/22/06 - The Duty to Serve the Public
In Minneapolis, a doctor has been accused of molesting two teenage boys who were his patients. A large number of his supporters have gathered outside the courtroom to express support for the doctor, and the local TV news stations have devoted considerable attention to them. As the justice system works to find the truth, I have some comments about how the local TV news media is covering the case.
01/13/06 - The System Fails Nixzmary Brown
The tragic child abuse death of 7-year-old Nixzmary Brown in New York has grabbed the headlines. As officials investigate how the system failed the little girl, I put forward some questions we should insist on getting answers to.
01/09/06 - Joe Paterno, Penn State, and an Important Rule
Joe Paterno, football coach at Penn State, made some comments about charges of sexual assault against one of his players. The comments reveal that he -- as well as a large part of the athletic system and our society, still just don't understand some important basics about the difference between sex and rape.
01/03/06 - What to Do When Your Daughter Has Been Raped
It's worse than your worst nightmare. It's the worst thing you could ever imagine. Your daughter has been raped. You are filled with pain and rage and confusion and thoughts of violence and revenge. You are paralyzed by anger; your family is in shambles, and you have absolutely no idea what to do. Let me start by saying that I'm very sorry this has happened to your family. It's unimaginably horrible, and you have every right to feel angry and upset. Now. Here's what you have to do.
12/27/05 - Evaluating the Holiday Season
Most of what we call "the holiday season" is finally over. Most of the family get-togethers that you can't avoid are done with. Maybe you never thought you'd get to this point, but you did. Now let's take stock. How did it go? What can we learn from it?
12/13/05 - Top Five Pieces of Holiday Advice
The holiday season is now in full swing. How are you doing? If you are doing well, congratulations - that's wonderful! If you are having some hard times, here's my top five recommendations for taking control of the season and getting through family gatherings with aplomb.
11/30/05 - I Take a Trip to Jolly Old England
recently read an article on sexual assault that came out of England. According to the article, a student was allegedly raped by another student while she claimed she was unconscious because she was drunk in a hallway outside her dorm room.
Artsy and purely fictitious dream sequence follows...
11/20/05 - Plan For the Holidays
I think everyone knows by now that the holidays are the most stressful time of year. The days are short, the workload is heavy, you are overscheduled, you have tons to do, there are a lot of bad memories, and you have to endure several get-togethers with horrible family members. Yes. You've heard it all before, but it doesn't make the holidays any easier. But you do have options.
11/11/05 - Telling
The topic of sexual assault is so scary, so chilling, that it is almost considered rude to speak of it. But we have to speak of it, or we'll never make any progress against it. So let's speak of it here, to demystify it and help the healing process.
10/29/05 - Halloween and Sex Offenders
New Jersey has passed laws that make it illegal for registered sex offenders to give out Halloween candy. Other states may be following suit. While I don't have a specific objection to these laws, I don't think they'll do much good. They are more likely to lull the populace into thinking that something constructive has been done.
10/15/05 - Absolute Disgrace - Again
A child abuse case in California ended with an inexplicable verdict where the abuser will probably never spend a day in jail. Is there no hope for justice? Almost -- but not quite. There is a difficult procedure that voters can pursue. They just need to overcome their apathy about child abuse.
10/02/05 - Reflections on a Nighttime Walk
A few nights ago, I decided to take a stroll. It was a beautiful night; it was peaceful; there were thousands of stars. The only sound was from my footsteps on the sidewalk . . . a little wind . . . a few insects of some kind. It wasn't until after I got home that I realized that this, tragically, was a uniquely male experience.
09/18/05 - Renew VAWA
The current Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) will expire at the end of September. It is imperative that the national Congress renews VAWA and continues the fight against sexual assault and domestic violence. And while VAWA will help countless women, it will help men even more.
09/04/05 - Help New Mothers
The greeting-card industry, and the romanticization of motherhood, have led to some myths that turn out to be dangerous both for the new mother and the newborn child. Behind the myth is a reality that is important to acknowledge. Only when we accept the reality, and take the necessary action, will we prevent the tragedies that sometimes strike newborn children and their mothers.
08/20/05 - Talk To Your Sons
Boys pick up many life-long attitudes on the elementary school playground. These attitudes include things like "violence is the only manly response to any situation," and "anyone who loves their parents is a sissy. These poor attitudes are formed by elementary-school boys who are trying to figure out how to be men. And since they don't have a clue how to do that, they make stuff up. Many boys grow up without ever questioning those "rules," and everyone suffers as a result. Learn what to say to your sons to help them become strong, honest men.
08/12/05 - What to Do About Sex Offenders?
Sex offenders are very much in the news these days, and nobody seems to know what to do about them. One suggestion has been to incarcerate them for life. Let's look into it.
08/07/05 - Let's Revisit 'Consent'
From the news, and from reading emails, it is clear that the concept of "consent" still eludes many people. They are caught up in a feeling of self-entitlement and an acceptance of violence that is very disturbing. So we'll tackle the concept of "consent" once again.
07/25/05 - Domestic Violence in Minority Groups
A ruling by the Texas Supreme Court highlights a common problem. Members of minority communities are especially vulnerable to domestic violence, and are less likely to know their rights and alternatives.
07/16/05 - Abuse in Foreign Countries
I have received several requests for advice from Americans living in other countries. I haven't been able to provide very good answers for them, but here are some general observations that might be useful for Americans at home and abroad.
07/02/05 - Help Your Child Heal
I receive a lot of correspondence from parents who are concerned about their children who have been abused. In some cases, the child may have been victimized by a serial pedophile like the one recently arrested in California. In other cases, it is a family member or acquaintance. The details vary, but generally speaking the abuser is no longer in the picture, and the non-offending parent(s) wonder what to do next.
06/18/05 - Texas Gets Serious
Responding to reports of terrible suffering, abuse and death, the state of Texas recently passed an emergency bill to add $200 million to the state's efforts against child abuse and vulnerable adult abuse. What does $200 million buy? A lot.
06/04/05 - General Information on Mandated Reporting
Many people who consider calling for help are stopped by their concern about Mandated Reporting laws. While these differ in every state, here are some general guidelines to help you.
05/21/05 - Domestic Violence in Minority Groups
A ruling by the Texas Supreme Court highlights a common problem. Members of minority communities are especially vulnerable to domestic violence, and are less likely to know their rights and alternatives.
05/07/05 - Rape is Not Sex
In this article we will be discussing the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, and how some people are using it to blur the distinction between rape and sex. So be warned: this is a Triggering Topic, and will include both Old Testament and New Testament references.
04/23/05 - A Poor Job of Protecting Our Children
The kidnapping and murders of nine-year-old Jessica Lunsford and 13-year-old Sarah Lunde are so tragic that words fail me. Is there something that could be done to prevent this kind of atrocity? Yes there is. But people won't allow it.
04/09/05 - Another Plug for Therapy
Learn how therapy works with examples. Therapy is the only thing that will truly help you after you have been raped, abused, or a victim of domestic violence.
03/25/05 - Absolute Disgrace
Once in awhile there comes a story that strains my ability to comprehend the level of hatred our society holds for women. In Illinois, four men were accused of sexually assaulting a sixteen-year-old girl. They had sex with her and wrote nasty words all over her body while she was passed out. But after deliberating for only two hours, one of the perpetrators, Christopher Robbins, was found not guilty. Let's review the many, many wrong assumptions of this disgrace.
03/13/05 - The Domestic Violence Cycle
The Domestic Violence Cycle describes a pattern that most abusers follow. Learning about the cycle can help clear up some confusion that survivors have, and can help them make a little bit of sense out of what is happening.
02/28/05 - Making Domestic Violence Laws Stronger
Perpetrators of domestic violence use several loopholes to evade punishment for their actions. Here are some ideas on how to make it harder to weasel out of responsibility.
02/04/05 - Unhappy Anniversary
One of the more common potholes on the way to emotional healing are the memories brought back by anniversaries of traumatic events. Even if you're not consciously tracking these anniversaries, your subconscious is.
01/21/05 - Domestic Violence and Men
As more men begin to come forward as survivors of domestic violence, they find that domestic violence agencies are not equipped to help them. What's going on? It's a complicated answer, but if you're blaming the agencies, you're blaming the wrong people.
01/07/05 - Domestic Violence and the Police
Domestic violence calls are often the most dangerous calls police officers have to make. Every call is different and every call is volatile and potentially lethal.
12/25/04 - It's Never Too Late
It's happening all over the country. It's happening all over the world. Thousands of adults who were abused as children are coming forward to get the emotional healing they need and deserve. If you're an adult who is interested in joining this trend, here is some information that may help.
12/11/04 - Get Through the Holidays
Holidays can be a rough time of year. Often, you are forced to spend time with people that you would ordinarily avoid. If a traumatic incident occurred during the Christmas holidays, the unique weather, music, decorations, smells, and so on will bring painful reminders of the incident back to you for years. Here are some tips on how to get through it all with as little pain as possible.
11/27/04 - The Grapes of Wrath
Why do funding cuts hurt low- and middle-income families more than wealthy families? The answer is simple, and unfortunate.
11/13/04 - More About Restraining Orders
Whenever I check to see which articles got the most "hits" in the past month, the two articles I wrote about restraining orders are almost always in the top ten. The recent news about Scott Peterson will probably increase interest. Because the articles are two years old, I think they deserve an update.
10/30/04 - Just Before the Election
The election is coming up this Tuesday, and a lot is at stake. In addition to the Presidency, there are Senators and Representatives running for office. There are also Governors, state Senators, and state Representatives. If you are concerned about abuse and incest and healing issues, here are some things to look for in a candidate.
10/16/04 - Two Column Counseling Technique
This is a technique I have found to be useful for many people. It can help survivors of almost any type of abuse, and can be just as useful for friends and relatives of survivors who want desperately to help out.
10/05/04 - Domestic Violence Awareness Month
In most states of the country, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. It is an excellent time to get involved, arrange to volunteer, and to ask questions of the experts.
09/25/04 - Top Ten Reasons to Call for Help
If you've been abused, don't make the mistake of trying to recover all by yourself. I've made a Top Ten list of reasons you should call your local Child Abuse Prevention agency, or Women's Crisis Center, and get them to help you.
09/12/04 - Students Can Fight Date-Rape
The start of the new school year raises the specter of date-rape. Here are some things that students can do to protect themselves and their friends from being victimized.
08/30/04 - Schools Can Take Action Against Date-Rape
As college and high school begin, the specter of date-rape raises its ugly head. The beginning of the school year is statistically the most common time for date-rape to happen. Here's what administrators of high schools, colleges, and universities can do to address this problem.
08/16/04 - Abuse in the Lesbian Community
Continuing our series "In Every Community," we focus on the issue of abuse in the Lesbian community, and how it's different, but how it is also the same, as abuse in other communities.
08/02/04 - Ask, Don't Tell
"My daughter left an abusive husband," someone told me, "and she's struggling with all kinds of emotions. I try to help her, but I must be saying the wrong things." Here's how to say the right things.
07/18/04 - Election Year Questions
As the date for the United States Presidential election approaches, I am going to begin a new series at this site, focusing on issues important to women's and children's advocates. The first issue studied is child abuse prevention program funding. Where do the two major party candidates stand on this issue? Read on and find out.
07/05/04 - Reflections on the Steinberg Case
Joel Steinberg, the attorney who served sixteen years in prison for the murder of his daughter, was released from prison recently. My editor asked me if the Steinberg case increased public awareness of child abuse. I decided to answer.
06/20/04 - A Child's Greatest Threat
Stranger-abduction of children has received a lot of attention recently, causing a reaction of horror and anger in our society. But as horrible as they are, the threat of stranger-abduction pales compared to a far greater threat facing American children.
06/06/04 - Top Five Ways to Protect Your Kids Against Stranger Abduction
Stranger-abduction of your child is every parent's worst nightmare. It sends ripples of horror through every sane person in the country. It inspires a lot of media coverage, and it's all justified. So the average citizen would have very good reason to imagine these strange sex offenders lurking in the bushes, and consider them the biggest threat to your child. But is it correct?
05/24/04 - Top Ten Reasons to Call for Help
If you've been abused, don't make the mistake of trying to recover all by yourself. I've made a Top Ten list of reasons you should call your local Child Abuse Prevention agency, or Women's Crisis Center, and get them to help you.
05/07/04 - What To Do If You See Child Abuse
Have you ever seen an adult abusing a child, and wondered what you should do? You're out in public, at the grocery store or the mall. Suddenly you hear screaming -- either adult screaming or a child screaming -- and hear the slap. Or you're walking along, minding your own business, and turn a corner and you're staring at an adult hitting or hurting a child. What do you do?
04/23/04 - A Conversation with a Fifth Grader
This conversation with a fifth grader about safety brings home the points that parents must teach their children so they know how to be safe and protect themselves.
04/09/04 - How to Help Your Friend
If you have a friend or relative in an abusive relationship, you want to help, but don't know what you can do. Here's advice on what you can do, and just as important, mistakes to avoid.
03/29/04 - More About the New Chat Rooms
More about the new parachat chat rooms that replaced the About.com chat rooms at Abuse/Incest Support.
3/15/04 - New Chat Rooms
The chat rooms at our site are changing. Starting Monday, March 1, there will be new chat rooms at Incest/Abuse Support. Read on to find the address to bookmark and how to chat in the new rooms.
3/01/04 - What's an Advocate?
Recently in the chat rooms, I have talked with people who have to go to court to testify against their abusers. This is a frightening prospect that can be made easier and safer by enlisting the help of an advocate.
02/16/04 - If Your Spouse Has Been Abused
If your spouse, partner or significant other has been abused, it can be a difficult time for you. They turn to you for help, and you want to help. But what should you do? What should you say? Here's what you need to know about helping your abused partner.
02/02/04 - "Why Me?"
My recent article on the Bible and healing received such a positive response that I am writing one more. This time, we will address the question that most survivors ask: "Why me?" If religion is a triggering topic for you, don't read any further.
01/18/04 - Healing and the Bible
Learn how to find answers in religion, what not to listen to, and how some fundamentalists may hinder your recovery by using the Bible incorrectly.
1/04/04 - Male Survivors
Male survivors of abuse can find themselves in situations that are different from women who have been abused. While boys and men have some different needs than women, the basic truths are the same. Let's talk about the differences, as well as the similarities.
12/23/03 - Dealing with Shame
Survivors of abuse often have to deal with feelings of shame. There is an important difference between shame and guilt, and that is the key to dealing with shame effectively.
12/11/03 - Self Defense
The disappearance of a Minnesota woman named Dru Sjodin brings to mind some advice on what to do if you are attacked. As we hope for her safety, there are things we can all do to be prepared.
11/27/03 - Michael Jackson - What About the Parents?
Michael Jackson's arrest on multiple counts of child molestation is big in the news, and it's every parent's nightmare. Learn what parents need to know before they let their children visit and sleep in someone else's house.
11/13/03 - Whistleblowers
In an abusive family, the family member who seeks help is often denounced by the rest of the family. They resent the fact that the whistleblower went public with their secret. If you're a whistleblower, you are not alone, and you did the right thing.
10/31/03 - Mistakes
Everybody makes mistakes. One of the things survivors have to learn is the difference between an honest mistake and an act intended to inflict pain, whether emotional or physical. Once you put this skill to work, you will find your life is much less stressful.
10/17/03 - Let's Correct a Common Mistake
An email from a reader prompted me to write this article about false logic and common misconceptions swirling around the issue of date rape. Specifically, let's take the things people are saying about Kobe Bryant's alleged victim and apply them to him. Make sure you read the interesting results.
10/4/03 - The Charges Against Arnold
At the time of this writing, eleven women have come forward to level charges of sexual misconduct against Arnold Schwarzenegger, candidate for Governor of California in a recall election. From the perspective of Minnesota criminal law, how serious are these charges? Find out so you can evaluate the situation for yourself.
09/19/03 - Where To Find Help
If you are a victim of any kind of abuse, here's how to find a women's center or child abuse prevention center near you. Calling them will be one of the best things you have ever done.
09/04/03 - Early Intervention Pays Off
Studies show that bullying is a form of child abuse, and both the bully and the target suffer emotional damage. Learn how early intervention will save society enormous costs in crime prevention.
08/20/03 - All About Body Image
Your daughter's body image is constantly being challenged by the media and peer groups. Learn how to give her the great gift of loving her body and teach her to discover positive role models.
08/06/03 - Kobe Bryant and Sexual Assault
The Kobe Bryant sexual assault case continues to dominate the news. It's interesting that this high profile case is in the media along with a new Illinois law that defines consent. Read my opinions on these issues and join in the discussion in our forums.
07/14/03 - Stop Stalkers
Learn how to stop a stalker in his tracks, using women's centers, police, the courts, and a lot of common sense.
07/01/03 - What Guys Need to Know About Consent
Guys, listen up! This important article is written for you so you understand exactly what is meant by consent. Don't even get close to the line - follow this advice.
06/22/03 - Supreme Court Finds for Stogner
In a stunning 5-4 decision, the U.S. Supreme Court sides with child molesters, reversing a California law that gave voice to survivors of child abuse. ADVOCAMom writes this passionate article.
06/06/03 - Gaining Perspective
Learn how to talk back to negative thoughts, put bad life events into perspective, and stop the downward spiral that can result from cognitive distortions and magnification.
05/25/03 - What About My Pets?
Many survivors stay in abusive situations because their pets are literally held as ransom. Learn how to find safe shelter for your pets and use this form of abuse as a tool to put perps in jail.
05/09/03 - More About Stogner v California
Once again, my guest author this week is ADVOCAMom, who interprets the oral arguments heard in the Stogner v California case in front of the U.S. Supreme Court.
04/24/03 - What Do These Women Have in Common?
Most people don't know that murder is the most common cause of death among pregnant women in the United States. Cases like Laci Peterson's bring this issue to the forefront of the American media.
04/10/03 - Frequently Asked Questions: Child Abuse
As part of the expanding Frequently Asked Questions section of this site, I have addressed ten questions about child abuse. The answers are designed to confirm your feelings, help you help your child, and guide you toward professional help.
03/27/03 - Know the Law
The Elizabeth Smart case has dropped off the national media radar with the start of the war. Questions still remain about criminal sexual charges against her alleged abductors. Learn what the law in Minnesota says about pedophilia, statutory rape, and criminal sexual conduct.
03/13/03 - Teach Your Children to Think
Elizabeth Smart's safe return from a 9 month kidnapping ordeal brings up ways to keep your children safe. Teach your kids critical reasoning skills and help them help themselves.
02/27/03 - Guilt Complex
Many survivors of incest or abuse suffer from incredible feelings of guilt, despite the fact that none of them deserve those feelings. Learn how to challenge your guilt, talk back, apply cooling thoughts, and feel better.
02/14/03 - First Person Plural Book Review
First Person Plural by Dr. Cameron West is a fascinating, compelling first hand true story about the healing journey of a man diagnosed with DID. I highly recommend this book, especially to the friends and loved ones of Multiples.
02/04/03 - Moderated Chat Schedules
We are adding more moderated chats to our schedule. There have also been some significant changes made to the Chat Rooms. There are some private and invitation-only chats scheduled; we ask that you respect the intent of these chats. Please read this page and make a note of the changes. Room 4 has become password protected and will be used for all moderated scheduled chats starting 2/17/03.
01/21/03 - U.S. Supreme Court Takes on Child Molestation Case
This week's article is written by ADVOCAMom. She is an About.com Guide who passionately defends childhood abuse victims who, as adults, press charges against their perpetrators. The U.S. Supreme Court is hearing the case Stogner v California. Learn about it.
01/14/03 - Pete Townshend and Child Porn on the Internet
Pete Townshend's arrest for allegedly viewing child porn on the internet has brought the issue front and center. Find out what you can do to report abuse on the internet and how to protect yourself and your family.
12/30/02 - New Year's Resolutions
If you're like most people, you have made some resolutions for 2003. Read my suggestions for some resolutions that can change your life.
12/16/02 - Holiday Help
The holidays can be very difficult for survivors of incest, abuse, or sexual assault. Get my tips on how to make the season brighter and have a happier holiday.
12/05/02 - Frequently Asked Questions: Incest
As part of the expanding Frequently Asked Questions section of this site, I have addressed eleven questions about incest. The answers are designed to confirm your feelings and guide you toward professional help.
11/25/02 - Lessons on Emotional Detachment
Learn how to shrink your emotionally abusive relatives and friends down to a manageable size using detachment techniques. Practice stock phrases, learn how to handle the rough stuff, and let go.
11/03/02 - What Can a Therapist Do For Me?
Learn a bit about the therapeutic process, and how a qualified therapist can help you feel better in your everyday life, in a question and answer format.
10/30/02 - Guidelines
These Guidelines cover the standards set for the Abuse/Incest Support Forums and Chat Rooms. Please read them carefully before entering these rooms, and abide by them.
10/16/02 - Glossary
This glossary includes a list of definitions helpful to abuse, incest, rape, and assault survivors and their friends and family. Check back often to learn more from this growing list of terms and phrases.
10/14/02 - Top Five Self-Help Books
Self-help books can be a great aid to the survivor of rape, abuse, or incest. These five books can help you attack negative thinking, deal with anger, learn how to develop resilience, and more.
10/13/02 - How To File a Restraining Order
Step by step guide to filing a restraining order. Follow these instructions and you will have a better chance of having your OFP or HRO granted by the courts.
10/11/02 - All About Consent
Consent is the central factor in any rape or sexual assault. Learn what the law says about consent, previous relationships, incapacitation, and witnesses.
10/10/02 - How To Listen to a Child - For the Non-Parent
When a child not your own confides in you about incest or inappropriate touching, your first reaction will be shock. Learn what to say and what to do to help this person who has put their trust in you.
10/09/02 - Feeling Good Book Review
Feeling Good is one of the premiere self-help books. Learn the ten Cognitive Distortions that can distort your thinking with mild depression, and how to combat them with cooling thoughts.
10/09/02 - All About Restraining Orders
Filing a restraining order is an important first step on the road to safety and healing. Learn about Orders for Protection, Harassment Restraining Orders, their strengths and weaknesses, and why you should always work with a crisis center advocate before filing.
10/04/02 - How to Survive a Panic Attack
When you have been a victim of a violent crime, whether physical abuse, incest, rape, or sexual assault, panic attacks may follow. Learn some easy and effective ways to focus on external cues to help end the anxiety.
10/03/02 - The Date Rape Time Lag
Did you know that victims of date rape often try to deny what happened to them for months? Discover the process of realization that a crime was committed.
10/01/02 - Why Do Women Return?
When confronted with domestic abuse, most people ask the wrong question. Learn why women return to their abusers and understand the cycle of domestic violence.
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